blog of truth...mostly

confuzzled
am really happy with james.
love him lots.
but am still trying to sabbotage myself. am forever thinking he is going to leave me. i think i have been hurt to many times. putting all my hopes in the metaphoric basket. only to have it runover!!
i think thats the reason i am so insanely jealous of his ex. i am so sure he is going to go back to her. i am even more sure she is going to try and get him back, i dont even know why! she has shown no signs of this, but there you go.
i think i want to meet her, but im not sure, i am worried that if i did, i would like her and feel so guilty. i feel i stole him.
i am worried someone is going to steal him from me.
and i am worried that my worring will make him go off me! vicious circle much!
bugger.

have made me an offer!!! thats three now!! yayayay

they want bcc

makes me v happy

now i have to choose though

grrrrrrrrrr

i am feeling rather worse for wear this morning, after getting very very drunk at the pub last night.

my head hurts

i am v sleepy (as i didnt get in until half four!)

and i am seriously regretting about 90% of the things i said

nuts

oh dear

i just have a lot on my mind i guess. anyone got any advice on how to tell someone you love what your thinking. with out sounding like a tit?
its just me being a bit... well me really!

that was me, very very very drunk

at a pjama party. we were all in our pjs (mine were extra revealing as my boyfriend picked them out for me.) but then me may just have been bitter because i made him wear one of my nighties (he has no pjs, and no one wants to see him naked!)

but we thought it would be well funny to make a porn film with me and my best friend vicky. it was good clean fun in reality but it didnt look like it. and the bastard you tubed it. and it has had nearly 1500 views in 5 days. there really are some weird people about these days!!!

but also, i decided that hagen daas pralines and cream ice cream is my favorite over ben and jerrys fossil fuel. any thoughts on your favorite flavor? just being nosey.

are you implicating that there is something fundementally wrong with my behaviour.

because if you are i will hit you with an AK-47

i can write blogs that are happy

i am about to eat ice cream, doesnt get happier

excpt i will be at college soon

ah well, ice cream rules!!!!

*sings* alcohol, alternative to feeling like your self, oh alcohol, i still drink to your health *stops*

dont you love it when you find a cd you havent listened to in ages?

speaking of alcohol, i think i am going to the pub tonight, but i dont know when or where!! lol

cardiff made me an offer too!!! how good is that? i dont want to go there but its nice to know that i could if the mood struck me.

i am meant to be doing my drama work, i suppose i should get on with it!

the other day my friend told me that my life was a soap opera. i dont think thats fair.
i think that a bbc mini series is more fitting.