blog of truth...mostly

blog of truth...mostlyhttp://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/en-EUhourly82000-01-01T12:00+00:00blog of truth...mostlyhttp://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/http://data5.blog.de/design/preview/09/9aaac778f4df593499062b26131edc_160x200.jpgI wishhttp://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2008/05/19/i-wish-4193941/2008-05-19T14:23:02+02:00 <p>My mind would settle</p> <p>I can't stop thinking.</p> <p>And what I am thinking of might break me forever. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2008/05/19/i-wish-4193941/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>My mind would settle

I can't stop thinking.

And what I am thinking of might break me forever.

]]>im very confusedhttp://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/07/03/im_very_confused~2567575/2007-07-03T19:59:47+02:00 <p>i dont know what to do. james has had the worst month and a half in the 'book of modern bad week and a halves'<br> what with being in a car accident, losing the flat of his dreams, hurting his back (badly), losing his job and on top of that having the worls most interfering friend he is very stressed, depressed and anxty.</p> <p>and i cant help in the slightest, all his mother does is yell (and sometimes hit him) she only cares if she gets her money each month, his friends try but james is stubborn. so its just me. i am mostly just trying to be there for him, letting him know hes not alone in this, but its so hard to watch his world fall down around his ears and just be there to hold his hand, rather that trying to hold it up.</p> <p>also, sometimes he gets angry with me, because he has no one else to get angry with, and i know that he is just stressed (and that he would never mean it, or hurt me because of it) but when he is getting arsey at me, it seems like i have failed him completely.</p> <p>i am just completely out of ideas </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/07/03/im_very_confused~2567575/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>i dont know what to do. james has had the worst month and a half in the 'book of modern bad week and a halves'
what with being in a car accident, losing the flat of his dreams, hurting his back (badly), losing his job and on top of that having the worls most interfering friend he is very stressed, depressed and anxty.

and i cant help in the slightest, all his mother does is yell (and sometimes hit him) she only cares if she gets her money each month, his friends try but james is stubborn. so its just me. i am mostly just trying to be there for him, letting him know hes not alone in this, but its so hard to watch his world fall down around his ears and just be there to hold his hand, rather that trying to hold it up.

also, sometimes he gets angry with me, because he has no one else to get angry with, and i know that he is just stressed (and that he would never mean it, or hurt me because of it) but when he is getting arsey at me, it seems like i have failed him completely.

i am just completely out of ideas

]]>ive been away for so long!http://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/07/01/ive_been_away_for_so_long~2553097/2007-07-01T17:13:06+02:00 <p>all of you have written such new and interesting things!</p> <p>but now all my exams are over</p> <p>im off to norwich this september</p> <p>and i have a summer to realax</p> <p>or at least attempt to! who knows what this week may bring! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/07/01/ive_been_away_for_so_long~2553097/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>all of you have written such new and interesting things!

but now all my exams are over

im off to norwich this september

and i have a summer to realax

or at least attempt to! who knows what this week may bring!

]]>bit crap this weekhttp://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/04/17/bit_crap_this_week~2111301/2007-04-17T22:13:08+02:00 <p>last couple of weeks have been pretty rubbish (apart from bridesmaiding it up at an extremly lavish wedding!)<br> my friend was assulted in castle park for, essentially, wearing black and having long hair (it was a he) which means i have lost a lot of hope in the public of colchester.<br> not only this but my grandad has been taken into hospital for a heart bypass (which we werent sure he was going to get because of him having gaut aswell) but he managed to get through the operation, but is still in lots of pain and wont eat anything. this is the grandparent to which i am closest and am so scared that something bad is going to happen with out me getting to say goodbye (am crying just thinking about it)<br> along with all this, the 'friends' i go to college with have as good as started ignoring me. i never see them, i never talk to them, the only friends i have are friends with my boyfriend which would be a big problem if it were to end!<br> i feel really lonely, because i dont have any female friends to talk about girly things with!its just a bit lame to be honest.<br> after 7 years of being with some of these people i no longer feel like i have any connection with these people. its terribly depressing</p> <p>i might blog again in a minute but this is getting a bit long! lol </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/04/17/bit_crap_this_week~2111301/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>last couple of weeks have been pretty rubbish (apart from bridesmaiding it up at an extremly lavish wedding!)
my friend was assulted in castle park for, essentially, wearing black and having long hair (it was a he) which means i have lost a lot of hope in the public of colchester.
not only this but my grandad has been taken into hospital for a heart bypass (which we werent sure he was going to get because of him having gaut aswell) but he managed to get through the operation, but is still in lots of pain and wont eat anything. this is the grandparent to which i am closest and am so scared that something bad is going to happen with out me getting to say goodbye (am crying just thinking about it)
along with all this, the 'friends' i go to college with have as good as started ignoring me. i never see them, i never talk to them, the only friends i have are friends with my boyfriend which would be a big problem if it were to end!
i feel really lonely, because i dont have any female friends to talk about girly things with!its just a bit lame to be honest.
after 7 years of being with some of these people i no longer feel like i have any connection with these people. its terribly depressing

i might blog again in a minute but this is getting a bit long! lol

]]>im sorryhttp://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/03/19/im_sorry~1934486/2007-03-19T19:07:22+01:00 <p>to everyone for the last year<br> especailly dan<br> i never meant to hurt him like that and it fills me with guilt every day</p> <p>i must be cheery this year</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/03/19/im_sorry~1934486/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>to everyone for the last year
especailly dan
i never meant to hurt him like that and it fills me with guilt every day

i must be cheery this year

]]>jameshttp://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/03/18/james~1929261/2007-03-18T22:12:50+01:00 <p>u smell </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/03/18/james~1929261/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>u smell

]]>guess whathttp://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/03/11/guess_what~1887556/2007-03-11T21:31:07+01:00 <p>i am bored<br> i am being ignored<br> and the lap top i am on is really hot<br> i want WOW to go to hell<br> and star wars<br> and vanguard<br> and LAN<br> i just dont care<br> grrrrrrrrrrr </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/03/11/guess_what~1887556/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>i am bored
i am being ignored
and the lap top i am on is really hot
i want WOW to go to hell
and star wars
and vanguard
and LAN
i just dont care
grrrrrrrrrrr

]]>i met herhttp://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/03/09/i_met_her~1876782/2007-03-09T20:57:16+01:00 <p>she is really pretty<br> i mean scarily so<br> and she seems really really really nice<br> and i am evil<br> i am just waiting for him to realise it <img src="/img/smilies/icon_sad.gif" alt=":(" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>i am so nervous that he is going to remember all of those things and bugger off</p> <p>on the brightside i went on my exe's motorbike today (120 down the A12, as you do)<br> that was really fun<br> but he is still an arse </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/03/09/i_met_her~1876782/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>she is really pretty
i mean scarily so
and she seems really really really nice
and i am evil
i am just waiting for him to realise it

i am so nervous that he is going to remember all of those things and bugger off

on the brightside i went on my exe's motorbike today (120 down the A12, as you do)
that was really fun
but he is still an arse

]]>made a friend testhttp://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/03/03/made_a_friend_test~1839227/2007-03-03T14:32:07+01:00 <p>thougt some people might take it if i put it on here<br> <a href="http://www.truefriendtest.com/friendtest/90056">http://www.truefriendtest.com/friendtest/90056</a> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/03/03/made_a_friend_test~1839227/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>thougt some people might take it if i put it on here
http://www.truefriendtest.com/friendtest/90056

]]>oh craphttp://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/03/02/oh_crap~1835602/2007-03-02T20:08:10+01:00 <p>and now hes going to HER house, to fix HER computer, and i wont know what happens. and what if he remembers what he like about HER.<br> SHES pretty, ive seen a picture. very smiley.<br> what if SHE tries to get him back. what if they fall in love all over again.<br> this makes me really uncomfortable.<br> oooooh craaaaaap </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/03/02/oh_crap~1835602/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>and now hes going to HER house, to fix HER computer, and i wont know what happens. and what if he remembers what he like about HER.
SHES pretty, ive seen a picture. very smiley.
what if SHE tries to get him back. what if they fall in love all over again.
this makes me really uncomfortable.
oooooh craaaaaap

]]>hmmmhttp://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/03/01/hmmm~1829385/2007-03-01T19:18:49+01:00 <p>confuzzled<br> am really happy with james.<br> love him lots.<br> but am still trying to sabbotage myself. am forever thinking he is going to leave me. i think i have been hurt to many times. putting all my hopes in the metaphoric basket. only to have it runover!!<br> i think thats the reason i am so insanely jealous of his ex. i am so sure he is going to go back to her. i am even more sure she is going to try and get him back, i dont even know why! she has shown no signs of this, but there you go.<br> i think i want to meet her, but im not sure, i am worried that if i did, i would like her and feel so guilty. i feel i stole him.<br> i am worried someone is going to steal him from me.<br> and i am worried that my worring will make him go off me! vicious circle much!<br> bugger. <img src="/img/smilies/icon_sad.gif" alt=":(" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/03/01/hmmm~1829385/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>confuzzled
am really happy with james.
love him lots.
but am still trying to sabbotage myself. am forever thinking he is going to leave me. i think i have been hurt to many times. putting all my hopes in the metaphoric basket. only to have it runover!!
i think thats the reason i am so insanely jealous of his ex. i am so sure he is going to go back to her. i am even more sure she is going to try and get him back, i dont even know why! she has shown no signs of this, but there you go.
i think i want to meet her, but im not sure, i am worried that if i did, i would like her and feel so guilty. i feel i stole him.
i am worried someone is going to steal him from me.
and i am worried that my worring will make him go off me! vicious circle much!
bugger.

]]>UEAhttp://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/02/17/uea~1757961/2007-02-17T19:47:45+01:00 <p>have made me an offer!!! thats three now!! yayayay</p> <p>they want bcc</p> <p>makes me v happy</p> <p>now i have to choose though</p> <p>grrrrrrrrrr </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/02/17/uea~1757961/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>have made me an offer!!! thats three now!! yayayay

they want bcc

makes me v happy

now i have to choose though

grrrrrrrrrr

]]>guess what?http://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/02/16/guess_what~1752018/2007-02-16T16:34:31+01:00 <p>i am feeling rather worse for wear this morning, after getting very very drunk at the pub last night.</p> <p>my head hurts</p> <p>i am v sleepy (as i didnt get in until half four!)</p> <p>and i am seriously regretting about 90% of the things i said</p> <p>nuts</p> <p><img src="/img/smilies/icon_neutral.gif" alt=":|" class="middle" border="0"><img src="/img/smilies/grayno.gif" alt=":no:" class="middle" border="0"><img src="/img/smilies/grayno.gif" alt=":no:" class="middle" border="0"> oh dear </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/02/16/guess_what~1752018/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>i am feeling rather worse for wear this morning, after getting very very drunk at the pub last night.

my head hurts

i am v sleepy (as i didnt get in until half four!)

and i am seriously regretting about 90% of the things i said

nuts

:no: :no: oh dear

]]>second post in one day!http://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/02/10/second_post_in_one_day~1715870/2007-02-10T16:00:44+01:00 <p>i just have a lot on my mind i guess. anyone got any advice on how to tell someone you love what your thinking. with out sounding like a tit?<br> its just me being a bit... well me really! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/02/10/second_post_in_one_day~1715870/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>i just have a lot on my mind i guess. anyone got any advice on how to tell someone you love what your thinking. with out sounding like a tit?
its just me being a bit... well me really!

]]>getting drunk last weekhttp://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/02/10/getting_drunk_last_week~1715105/2007-02-10T13:43:51+01:00 <p>that was me, very very very drunk</p> <p>at a pjama party. we were all in our pjs (mine were extra revealing as my boyfriend picked them out for me.) but then me may just have been bitter because i made him wear one of my nighties (he has no pjs, and no one wants to see him naked!)</p> <p>but we thought it would be well funny to make a porn film with me and my best friend vicky. it was good clean fun in reality but it didnt look like it. and the bastard you tubed it. and it has had nearly 1500 views in 5 days. there really are some weird people about these days!!!</p> <p>but also, i decided that hagen daas pralines and cream ice cream is my favorite over ben and jerrys fossil fuel. any thoughts on your favorite flavor? just being nosey. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/02/10/getting_drunk_last_week~1715105/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>that was me, very very very drunk

at a pjama party. we were all in our pjs (mine were extra revealing as my boyfriend picked them out for me.) but then me may just have been bitter because i made him wear one of my nighties (he has no pjs, and no one wants to see him naked!)

but we thought it would be well funny to make a porn film with me and my best friend vicky. it was good clean fun in reality but it didnt look like it. and the bastard you tubed it. and it has had nearly 1500 views in 5 days. there really are some weird people about these days!!!

but also, i decided that hagen daas pralines and cream ice cream is my favorite over ben and jerrys fossil fuel. any thoughts on your favorite flavor? just being nosey.

]]>as the genius i amhttp://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/02/06/as_the_genius_i_am~1692323/2007-02-06T17:23:10+01:00 <p>are you implicating that there is something fundementally wrong with my behaviour.</p> <p>because if you are i will hit you with an AK-47</p> <p><img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/02/06/as_the_genius_i_am~1692323/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>are you implicating that there is something fundementally wrong with my behaviour.

because if you are i will hit you with an AK-47

]]>seehttp://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/02/05/see~1686734/2007-02-05T19:18:17+01:00 <p>i can write blogs that are happy</p> <p>i am about to eat ice cream, doesnt get happier</p> <p>excpt i will be at college soon <img src="/img/smilies/icon_sad.gif" alt=":(" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>ah well, ice cream rules!!!!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/02/05/see~1686734/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>i can write blogs that are happy

i am about to eat ice cream, doesnt get happier

excpt i will be at college soon

ah well, ice cream rules!!!!

]]>bare naked ladieshttp://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/01/19/bare_naked_ladies~1584053/2007-01-19T20:06:54+01:00 <p>*sings* alcohol, alternative to feeling like your self, oh alcohol, i still drink to your health *stops*</p> <p>dont you love it when you find a cd you havent listened to in ages?</p> <p>speaking of alcohol, i think i am going to the pub tonight, but i dont know when or where!! lol </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/01/19/bare_naked_ladies~1584053/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>*sings* alcohol, alternative to feeling like your self, oh alcohol, i still drink to your health *stops*

dont you love it when you find a cd you havent listened to in ages?

speaking of alcohol, i think i am going to the pub tonight, but i dont know when or where!! lol

]]>more uni thingshttp://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/01/17/more_uni_things~1570645/2007-01-17T20:25:13+01:00 <p>cardiff made me an offer too!!! how good is that? i dont want to go there but its nice to know that i could if the mood struck me.</p> <p>i am meant to be doing my drama work, i suppose i should get on with it! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/01/17/more_uni_things~1570645/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>cardiff made me an offer too!!! how good is that? i dont want to go there but its nice to know that i could if the mood struck me.

i am meant to be doing my drama work, i suppose i should get on with it!

]]>hee heehttp://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/01/06/hee_hee~1520851/2007-01-06T14:22:26+01:00 <p>the other day my friend told me that my life was a soap opera. i dont think thats fair.<br> i think that a bbc mini series is more fitting. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/01/06/hee_hee~1520851/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>the other day my friend told me that my life was a soap opera. i dont think thats fair.
i think that a bbc mini series is more fitting.

]]>new years dayhttp://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/01/02/new_years_day~1504828/2007-01-02T13:41:33+01:00 <p>was very very interesting.<br> boyfriend passed out just after midnight from too much drinking (this meant he was nearly 4 hours late for work yesterday morning) but it turned out ok, had fun with his friends- kept drinking, you know, the ususal.</p> <p>however yesterday evening (at dinner time grrrrr) got a visit from someone i havent seen in a very long time, and had no desire to see again. he came to apologise (which he bloody well should have done six bloody months ago) and bring me some news that i wasnt expecting. made me a bit crap but i went to shilzos house and that made me feel better.</p> <p>also, weighed myself a couple of days ago, somehow (magic probably) i have LOST a pound over the xmas holiday season!! my mum told me i was a freak... i dont think thats fair, true but not fair</p> <p>hope your day was better than mine </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2007/01/02/new_years_day~1504828/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>was very very interesting.
boyfriend passed out just after midnight from too much drinking (this meant he was nearly 4 hours late for work yesterday morning) but it turned out ok, had fun with his friends- kept drinking, you know, the ususal.

however yesterday evening (at dinner time grrrrr) got a visit from someone i havent seen in a very long time, and had no desire to see again. he came to apologise (which he bloody well should have done six bloody months ago) and bring me some news that i wasnt expecting. made me a bit crap but i went to shilzos house and that made me feel better.

also, weighed myself a couple of days ago, somehow (magic probably) i have LOST a pound over the xmas holiday season!! my mum told me i was a freak... i dont think thats fair, true but not fair

hope your day was better than mine

]]>2007 approacheshttp://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2006/12/31/2007_approaches~1499038/2006-12-31T18:34:34+01:00 <p>and i just want to say</p> <p>happy new year! it has been an interesting year, and i hope it has been a good one for all of you loverly blog people</p> <p>hopefully this coming year i might bloody well cheer up! lol </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2006/12/31/2007_approaches~1499038/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>and i just want to say

happy new year! it has been an interesting year, and i hope it has been a good one for all of you loverly blog people

hopefully this coming year i might bloody well cheer up! lol

]]>carshttp://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2006/12/28/cars~1487150/2006-12-28T15:13:02+01:00 <p>happily driving to tollgate today (in order to get a bus back home in the oppisite direction) when some wanker who had pulled over, pulled right out in front of us and didnt indicate!!!! tit.<br> anyway shilzo swerved so that we didnt hit him, but we hit the kirb (is that twhat its called in britan?) and he damaged the suspension arm (oh yeah!! i am the queen of listening to mechanincs i dont understand what it means but there you go i tried)<br> anyway, walked shilzo to work in my heels!!!!!! i know!!<br> then went home.</p> <p>but this is not encouraging me to start driving!!! im well scared now that when i do start i will get hit and die and stuff.</p> <p>and, shilzo, dont worry bout anything. im not hurt, and i am not scared bout getting in a car with u! u dnt have to be embarressed. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2006/12/28/cars~1487150/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>happily driving to tollgate today (in order to get a bus back home in the oppisite direction) when some wanker who had pulled over, pulled right out in front of us and didnt indicate!!!! tit.
anyway shilzo swerved so that we didnt hit him, but we hit the kirb (is that twhat its called in britan?) and he damaged the suspension arm (oh yeah!! i am the queen of listening to mechanincs i dont understand what it means but there you go i tried)
anyway, walked shilzo to work in my heels!!!!!! i know!!
then went home.

but this is not encouraging me to start driving!!! im well scared now that when i do start i will get hit and die and stuff.

and, shilzo, dont worry bout anything. im not hurt, and i am not scared bout getting in a car with u! u dnt have to be embarressed.

]]>when everything is rubbish....http://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2006/12/23/when_everything_is_rubbish~1472782/2006-12-23T19:25:03+01:00 <p>...Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2006/12/23/when_everything_is_rubbish~1472782/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>...Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

]]>an apologyhttp://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2006/12/23/an_apology~1472728/2006-12-23T19:09:46+01:00 <p>sorry to all those who do this blog thing for laughs and really just dont care what is going on in my really strange and unintersting love life. in order to make it up to you, one i have finished writing this blog i will post another only this time with something humourous (sp?) and nothing to do with anything really!</p> <p>right, every thing is going really well with the new bit of fluff (lol) and im quite cheery about the whole thing! just one problem, i am well paranoid about his ex. they were together for what must be around... FOREVER (well 3 years but at 16?!?! u see my point?) and they didnt break up that long ago and although he says he wasnt happy, he must have loved her in order to stay with her for that long despite not being happy (i know all about that kind of situation).<br> now all i can think of is 'is he comparing me to her?'. and i f he is, how am i fairing? am i as clever, pretty, funny? or am i gap filler? has he got into this relationship thinking im one way and found out im very different? i dunno<br> im well scared about the whole thing. and i know that they are still friends, which is fine (im not a jealous person at all) but what if he still prefers her. she wants to meet me, i am really worried and now i am going to act like an idiot!!</p> <p>shit <img src="/img/smilies/icon_sad.gif" alt=":(" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2006/12/23/an_apology~1472728/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>sorry to all those who do this blog thing for laughs and really just dont care what is going on in my really strange and unintersting love life. in order to make it up to you, one i have finished writing this blog i will post another only this time with something humourous (sp?) and nothing to do with anything really!

right, every thing is going really well with the new bit of fluff (lol) and im quite cheery about the whole thing! just one problem, i am well paranoid about his ex. they were together for what must be around... FOREVER (well 3 years but at 16?!?! u see my point?) and they didnt break up that long ago and although he says he wasnt happy, he must have loved her in order to stay with her for that long despite not being happy (i know all about that kind of situation).
now all i can think of is 'is he comparing me to her?'. and i f he is, how am i fairing? am i as clever, pretty, funny? or am i gap filler? has he got into this relationship thinking im one way and found out im very different? i dunno
im well scared about the whole thing. and i know that they are still friends, which is fine (im not a jealous person at all) but what if he still prefers her. she wants to meet me, i am really worried and now i am going to act like an idiot!!

shit

]]>huzzaarhttp://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2006/12/19/huzzaar~1457020/2006-12-19T16:53:17+01:00 <p>shilzo asked<br> i said yes<br> im not sure if ive done the right thing but life's too short to only be sure all the time, i might as well live life on a spur of the moment type thing and if it all goes wrong at least i wont be sitting there going 'what if i had said yes?'<br> bit worried by some of the comments bout him on his msn space tho... oh well you only live once!!!! <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2006/12/19/huzzaar~1457020/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>shilzo asked
i said yes
im not sure if ive done the right thing but life's too short to only be sure all the time, i might as well live life on a spur of the moment type thing and if it all goes wrong at least i wont be sitting there going 'what if i had said yes?'
bit worried by some of the comments bout him on his msn space tho... oh well you only live once!!!!

]]>doing something stupidhttp://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2006/12/15/doing_something_stupid~1442405/2006-12-15T19:03:56+01:00 <p>i am such a twat. i really am. i asked out that amazing guy (the blonde)and SUPRISE SURPRISE he turned me down. and now my heart is completely broken in half because i was completely in love with the guy, which makes me seem like a psycho but i dont care any more.</p> <p>and im really worried i hurt this other bloke last night, all mbecause i cant get my head straight- i need to have a really really good think about what i want. cuz i really dont know. shit <img src="/img/smilies/icon_sad.gif" alt=":(" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2006/12/15/doing_something_stupid~1442405/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>i am such a twat. i really am. i asked out that amazing guy (the blonde)and SUPRISE SURPRISE he turned me down. and now my heart is completely broken in half because i was completely in love with the guy, which makes me seem like a psycho but i dont care any more.

and im really worried i hurt this other bloke last night, all mbecause i cant get my head straight- i need to have a really really good think about what i want. cuz i really dont know. shit

]]>Unihttp://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2006/12/02/uni~1393946/2006-12-02T18:26:33+01:00 <p>I got an offer!!!!!! from <strong>SHEFFIELD HALLLAM!!!</strong>. For those who dont know that is the uni that I really really really wanted to go to!!!!! I have an offer of 240 point- which I almost already have anyway!!!!! THIS IS SOOOOOO VERY VERY COOL!!! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2006/12/02/uni~1393946/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>I got an offer!!!!!! from SHEFFIELD HALLLAM!!!. For those who dont know that is the uni that I really really really wanted to go to!!!!! I have an offer of 240 point- which I almost already have anyway!!!!! THIS IS SOOOOOO VERY VERY COOL!!!

]]>emmahttp://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2006/12/01/emma~1390977/2006-12-01T21:00:02+01:00 <p>I wish she would just get on with asking *** out cuz they are so clearly in love!!! silly people. Im tempted to do it for her but she would never forgive me!! But it would make her so happy!!!! Grrrrr</p> <p>Also I may have a descion to make in the next few days, so if people could just give there opinon. Im not going to tell you what the problem is i just want to find out what you think and base my desicion on that!!! lol</p> <p>xxxx </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2006/12/01/emma~1390977/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>I wish she would just get on with asking *** out cuz they are so clearly in love!!! silly people. Im tempted to do it for her but she would never forgive me!! But it would make her so happy!!!! Grrrrr

Also I may have a descion to make in the next few days, so if people could just give there opinon. Im not going to tell you what the problem is i just want to find out what you think and base my desicion on that!!! lol

xxxx

]]>oi jenkinshttp://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2006/11/23/oi_jenkins~1362620/2006-11-23T22:46:58+01:00 <p>Ha ha ha, this is blog all for you. Its not about boys cuz ur a girl... As far as im aware!!!</p> <p>I love you... mostly </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://blogoftruthmostly.blog.co.uk/2006/11/23/oi_jenkins~1362620/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>Ha ha ha, this is blog all for you. Its not about boys cuz ur a girl... As far as im aware!!!

I love you... mostly

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