confuzzled
am really happy with james.
love him lots.
but am still trying to sabbotage myself. am forever thinking he is going to leave me. i think i have been hurt to many times. putting all my hopes in the metaphoric basket. only to have it runover!!
i think thats the reason i am so insanely jealous of his ex. i am so sure he is going to go back to her. i am even more sure she is going to try and get him back, i dont even know why! she has shown no signs of this, but there you go.
i think i want to meet her, but im not sure, i am worried that if i did, i would like her and feel so guilty. i feel i stole him.
i am worried someone is going to steal him from me.
and i am worried that my worring will make him go off me! vicious circle much!
bugger. :(